This is me
Hello all! I am so glad you’ve stumbled upon my blog and are here for the momentous occasion that is my first post. I don’t really have anything planned for this post besides sharing a little bit more about myself and what I want to feature on this brand-new blog.
So, to start off, my name is Laura and I am a 20 year old college junior at the University of Delaware. It feels so weird, for one, saying that I’m 20 years old when I feel like I’m still 15, and two, saying that I am a junior now in college when it literally feels like I just got here. Time really does go by in the blink of an eye. Anyways, I grew up in central New Jersey (yes, it exists) and still go home there on my college breaks.
Ever since I was young I have loved food. I still have recipes that I wrote stuffed in my mother’s filled-to-the-brim recipe book, though I can assure you they are not very complex (my favorite is the “ultimate chocolate sundae”), and I remember spending hours in the kitchen baking Christmas cookies or frying chicken cutlets with my grandma. In my family, food has always been a part of the glue that has held us together. Every gathering or holiday is an array of all different foods, usually Italian, which used to be primarily cooked by my grandma, but has now fallen on the shoulders of my mom and aunt.
My experience with food is that of family, and I equate it to love. Time spent in the kitchen with my grandma, mom, sister, aunt, and cousins are some of my most cherished memories. Gathering around a table with the people I love, laughing, telling stories—for me, that is the joy of food.
Since growing up, unfortunately my relationship with food has changed. I’ve become self-conscious and worried about my physical appearance, the inches on my waist and the gap between my thighs. For a while, the way I looked in a bathing suit was more important to me than fueling my body with nutrients and energy. Food went from being something that brought me happiness and showed me love to something I feared. I’ve gone through periods of restriction, periods of obsessing over eating only foods I deemed clean and healthy, periods of intense & all-consuming guilt, and now I feel like I have finally reached a point of self-acceptance. I enjoy eating nutrient dense food that will not only give me energy but will make me feel great as well. I also love eating dessert just as much. The negative thoughts are still there, but I am able to drown them out by being around my family & my friends, and with my own thoughts of positivity.
Over the past 20 years I have come to terms with who I am. Over the past couple of months I have struggled with how I’ve felt. And over the past few weeks I have accepted myself and the body I live in. I will never be perfect, and I will feel horrible sometimes. I will make mistakes, and feel guilty, and cry, but I will also laugh and surround myself with the people I love. No matter how bad things get inside my head or in my heart, I can always look out to them for a smile or a sign that everything will be okay.
Every single day is brand new. I am only 20 years into my life and I know that there will be more laughs and more holidays, and more time spent in the kitchen. Through everything, I have developed a passion for showing love through food and sharing it with those around me. I also adore travelling and have been fortunate enough to have done a lot of it so far in my life. This blog is going to be a messy and weird collection of all the things I love, the recipes that fill my kitchen, the ways I show self-care, and anything else I find relevant to write about. If you've read this far, then I hope you’re just as excited to begin this journey as I am.